everything is amazing, nobody is happy

::holi::

Walking up to the temple we were greeted by a friendly llama who walked right up to the fence to take freshly picked grass from our hands. Behind our new friend were the outlines of the ornately lavish temple and plumes of heavily scented, brightly colored plumes of chalk. We eagerly walked the half mile (the closest parking we could find) and said hello to the passerbys dressed head to foot in purple, pink, yellow, and blue chalk.

The scene surrounding the temple was awe inspiring. Crowds chanting along with the live band, Hare Krishna, Hare, Hare! they sang. Explosions of color burst like fireworks above the chanters. It's like a happy war, I said. The whole scene felt dreamy and unreal. A giggle escaped at the craziness of it all.

The Hare Krishnas were celebrating Holi, the arrival of Spring, a tradition that has been celebrated in India since ancient times. The merriment was greeted gladly by throngs of people that included a bonfire, chanting and singing, and the throwing of brightly colored chalk. There could be no better way to celebrate Spring.


Sadly the chalk had run out by the time we made it, but Xavier was lucky enough to get sprayed by a handful of pink to the back of the head. He enjoyed this until the chalk made its way into his mouth and then he was spitting pink for the rest of our time there. Just like the llamas.

Walking back to the car felt like we were leaving an exotic, mystical land where the scenery is breathtaking, the language is sung in chants, and all the people are technicolor.

list of happies

happiness is:
-a workshop on scarcity to abundance.
-moving into our new home in a week.
-celebrating spring with friends.
-realizing my potential, as well as my breakdowns.
-honest conversations.
-build-your-own frozen yogurt.
-a landmark education forum for my birthday.
-making progress and building respect at work.
-kissing my kids. repeatedly.
-being in love with a wonderful man.

because.....

words have forsaken me.

deep breathing

(picture by our friend Travis)

i sometimes dislike hearing about how busy people are because we're all busy, right? but here i am about to say, whew things have been busy round here! so i won't, cause that would be annoying of me. i'll just tell you how much i've missed you my dear little corner of the internet.

i've had to remind myself to breathe deeply and to not be afraid of heading directly toward the wind. life has been hurling itself toward me, ever changing and gaining momentum. overall, the ride has been enjoyable but there are always the dips and the parts that just plain suck.

i found myself wondering on how exactly i can get back to that fantastic space i was in a few weeks ago. how did i loose it so quickly and how do i make sure that i never loose it again? i suppose that is just the very nature of evolution and growth, the minute you think you have it all figured out the earth starts shifting beneath your feet once more. today i told a friend that is going through a difficult time right now to try saying a mantra of what she wants for herself over and over again in order to really stay focused. i think that i should take my own advice.

my mantra du jour:
breathe deep

sensitive

driving down the freeway this morning when the sun was barely peeking out from the behind the mountain. headlights zooming past, hot chai in a mug nearby, listening to NPR on the radio.
this would seem like a nice picture on the outside, but zoom in and see a heart that is feeling too raw, with a tinge of ache.

i hear a story on morning edition about kids from mumbai, india getting the chance to stand on the stage at the oscars in the spotlight while their families huddled around old television sets in their huts back home cheering their loved ones on. hearing this makes me cry, and i'm not sure why.

budget cuts for substance abuse programs, elderly couple in the restaurant trying earnestly to navigate their walkers, a young women in chains at the courthouse losing her child forever, my husband handing out money to homeless vets on the street corner......

snapshots of my day that cause me to wonder, why are we so cold to one another?

i have been trying to teach my son whom sometimes uses violence as a means to express his anger that when we hurt others we are also hurting ourselves. that we are all one.

a lesson the whole world needs to learn.

i want to tear down the walls that encase our hearts that have been built under the false notion that the walls are there to protect them, but the truth is they only leave us without the ability to care.
to really love.

i know that the only way to lead this movement is by example, so i will start with my heart wall one brick at a time.
won't you join me?
then we can be sensitive together.

::six::

six years of marriage + a weekend away in zions =

one happy girl.