silencing the drunk monkey

Here in Hooliganville we like to refer to our ego as our drunk monkey. The seemingly omnipresent voice always igniting fear, shame, and discouragement. The voice that even though it stings to listen to, we choose to obey without question. Unless, of course, we acknowledge that the voice is there, and learn to stop it in its tracks.

The drunk monkey likes anonymity. It likes pretending it's not really sitting on your shoulder whispering lies into your ear. It thrives on our ignorance, our belief that what it's saying is true.

I took a good recognizing look at my DM a year ago, and I've been in combat ever since. The DM doesn't play by any rules and plays for keeps. It just wants you to keep quiet and play along, it doesn't go down without a fight.

When my DM is ruling my mind and heart, my world is very grey. Bleak, unhappy, and sometimes quite angry. But lately, I have had real glimpses of freedom from the drunk monkey and I want to stay in this consciousness. A place that sends tingles up and down my spine because it is so right. This place of hope, beauty, and purpose. A place where kindness and peace run free. A place where I can clearly see what it is to have my soul and heart lead the way.


I love this place, yet it leaves so quickly.


How do I get it to stay?


Chris and I were having a discussion about when one gets to a place of freedom, does that mean the monkey is for once and for all silenced? Or does the monkey rear it's ugly head now and again in a moment of weakness?

I am of the opinion of the latter. I don't think my ego will ever give up for good. The good news is, with practice the drunk monkey gets quieter and quieter until you don't hear it any more. It no longer gets a fair say in everyday decisions, and even when it does get a peep out, you no longer believe what it has to say.

We are biologically capable of changing the pathways of the neurons in our brains. Over time and with conscious awareness we can physically change our brains to seek out our place of peace rather than our place of fear.

That is so absolutely amazing...and hopeful.

The more we practice being aware and present, the smaller the drunk monkey becomes. With each small step toward our own personal truth, we become the creators of our lives.



ps-I love the movie What the Bleep Do We Know? and highly recommend all interested in silencing their drunk monkey to watch it. It much better explains the biological processes than I ever could.