summer's end

"look it's my light.."

she's pointing to the sun setting between two peaks of the mountains, bidding it's farewell at the day's end. we are walking in the dusk, the cool night air is a welcome change to the stifling heat. pink sunbeams are dancing across her round cheeks and i stop as i let her words steep.

how does she know that?

and she is right, it is her sun.

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i know it's been awhile and i've truly missed my little space here, but i suppose not enough to do anything about the nagging voice in the back of my head, write something already...
i feel i cannot catch a breath long enough to make the necessary space to write. not that recent life has been bad, just different. and busy. and different.

the beginning of my summer i was very out there, very social, always needing to plan a party. as the summer wore on i needed my life to be more peaceful, quiet. i am still in my summer hibernation realizing this space has allowed me to process all the changes. life and it's ups and downs is brilliant, no? it makes perfect sense to me.

chris started school. i almost did, xavier too, but then he wanted to be sure that i would call those school people and tell them that he is a homeschooler, dammit! so we both chickened out and good thing cause chris' school is more than enough. he likes it though, and i am so happy for that, and i must say that he is one smart cookie.

no job yet. i'm okay, or daresay happy, with that too. i'm slowly understanding that these things cannot be muscled and forced. if i believe, and more importantly trust, the right thing will come along at just the right time.
trust and believe, trust and believe.

i've radically changed my diet this past month and i have never felt better. i have always been a little sluggish, tired, overweight, and depressed for my entire adult existence and i decided i was tired (no pun intended) of teetering on the edge all the time. i really gave myself pause and listened to what my body was saying i should feed it. i decided to continue eating primarily vegan with no gluten and sugar. i also have been trying to eat many small meals throughout the day and have implemented fish oil and probiotics supplements. so to sum it up, lots of veggies.

lost nearly 10 pounds and am hoping to loose another 30. i have really been struggling with the weight i gained while pregnant with i feel like i have so much more energy. i feel lighter, glowier (my own word perhaps?) even. i've been discouraged that it didn't just fall off all on it's own like it did with xavier. it's so satisfying to make a leap of faith to change old habits, and then see that leap pay off in spades. and so quickly to.
i guess i'm the type of girl that likes instant gratification.
and i'm not afraid to say it.