leap of faith

You have to take risks, or your not living.

Words given to me by a man that we met with today about our house. I was talking about regrets with a tinge of anger and he sent me back these words. Words that hit me hard and have been swimming around in my brain all day. I've been getting a lot of those fog lifting words lately and I am really liking it. I like to soak up the wisdom, change my perception, understand what makes me tick.

We took a risk, we didn't succeed. The consequences of our taking said risk hurts, a lot. And I am finding it ever so important to give myself the time to feel pissed off and angry. Time to mourn my losses. Time to lick my wounds. Time to want nothing but to lay in my bed all day and sob while giving the middle finger at the world.
To just put on a happy face, get my chin up, and look at the bright side feels false and fake. It's not fair to try to pretend this doesn't absolutely suck, because it does. And right now, I am not feeling ok. I am lonely, exhausted, completely uncomfortable, and homeless.
I won't be throwing a pity party forever though. I will see the "bright side" in my own time, it will just take some time.
Phrases uttered by unsuspecting people are helping to break this bad attitude that I have going. Phrases that ring around in my head, over and over, like in the movies. This helps.
What was I talking about?
Oh, yeah. Risk.
I was not so successfully trying to make my point that I will someday in the future, dust myself off and get back in the game. I am not the type of personality to sit on my hands and play it safe from here on out. I will take my knowledge from this failed attempt and apply that to my next one. You see, I would rather jump out there, let it all hang out and live then sit back and be too afraid of failing. I'll take that leap of faith and if that doesn't work, brush myself off again, tend to my wounds, and leap again.

I am bagging the idea that failing at anything is a bad thing to be avoided at all costs. I am proud of my mistakes, and even prouder that it will not stop me from making many more.

I choose to live a colorful, beautiful life. A life full of love, family, home, adventure, learning, and yes, risk.