pipi rocks

i had never read any pipi books or seen any pipi movies during my childhood, so when we attended the pipi longstocking play at our local children's theatre i was pleasantly surprised to learn that pipi was a hardcore unschooler.

she radiated strength of character, happiness, curiosity, and joy.

one of my favorite lines from the play:


it's better for kids to be organized,

as long as they are organizing themselves.


amen.

pre-kidlet

the challenge: photographic evidence that your husband is more than a child prop. a picture that shows the hubby in all his handsome glory.
hmmm, the first picture that popped into my head was this:


i just love those luscious lips and the dreamy, faraway look in his eyes.
this was taken by a camera even more ghetto than our current one. yet, i am finding, it isn't the camera that makes the picture it's the picture itself.
the essence.

the essence of my husband is marvelous indeed.

drip, drip

Yoga has become a lifeline for me. I had never before practiced yoga in any serious form aside from an occasional class or watching a yoga video, but a few weeks ago I couldn't ignore the pull inside my heart to get my butt to a yoga class. Of course, because the universe is gracious, there was a magnificent studio blocks from my home with an affordable unlimited month pass. And it came to pass that I attended my first "real" yoga class, and I was hooked.

I loved how my muscles ached from being stretched again after such a long hiatus, how my abs felt a dull, but happy burn, how cleansing it felt to sweat from the effort of a good workout. Most of all, though, I loved the peace.

The peace in my mind and my heart was something my mind and heart had been waiting a long, long time for. Very patiently, I might add, but once they had felt the peace that was possible in an hour of yoga, it wanted more. Now.

I couldn't get enough. As soon as my feet hit the pavement of the parking lot after class they wanted to turn right back around. My family, especially Chris, was so patient that first week of my discovering yoga, allowing me to go at every opportunity. Chris would say, I love how calm and centered you are when you come home. That made me so happy. I was thrilled that this peace I was obtaining through yoga was spilling out into the rest of my life. Because I was happy, my family, too, were able to find their own joy a little easier. Life suddenly felt more calm and I found that things that had pushed my buttons before didn't trigger a reaction quite so easily. I didn't loose my cool (very often) with the kids, I didn't react badly when I got poor news, I felt healthy and strong, it was much easier to see my beautiful life and give gratitude for it. I was by no means perfect, (although perfection has never been a goal of mine, where's the challenge in that?) but I was finding it easier to find my joy.

I also felt like I was finding out who I am deep down inside this soul of mine. I started listening to this Aubrey that I have kept locked up for, well, forever. I am finding out what she loves to do and what makes her happy, and I am really trying to make those loves a reality. In the past few weeks I have done things that I either haven't done in a decade, or have never done, but always wanted to. Like, go on a real date, attend a play and a modern dance performance, as well as go to a dance class. Now my dreams, or the person that I spend so much time fantasizing about being don't seem so far away. Actually, they aren't anywhere out there. They are inside me. I just need to stop daydreaming and start doing.

I have found My Path.

My whole life I have been stumbling around in the dark trying to find a path that fit me and felt like I have come home. I have come close before, but have always allowed for distractions and stop signs. Usually, because I worried what others may think and how they would react to my finding my way. I have tried on others' paths because, hey, it works for them, it must work for me too, right? But I have found that paths are not one size fits all. Because someone was able to find God (or whatever is right by you) by following steps A, B, C does not mean that I follow the same steps and I find God too. We all are unique, doesn't it make sense that our paths will be unique too?

We human beings tend to feel threatened though by the idea of everyone having their own unique path. We instead like to have the one size fits all mentality and have a hard time when someone bucks the trend. Why is this? Is it because there is safety in numbers? Or is it just simply easier to follow a well worn path, no matter where it leads, instead of blazing our own? Please know, I ask these questions with a sincere heart, and am hoping they are not taken as me being patronizing. I suppose I am just imaging what our world would be like if we were asking these questions and giving truthful answers. I am imagining how many wars that could be erased and how many hearts that could be healed. I am thinking of the happiness that could be felt round the world if everyone was given the permission and encouragement to find the path that is most aligned with their hearts no matter how different it looks from ours.

So, I am really digging this peace in my heart. Right now what I am feeling is just a faint drip, drip out of the faucet of joy. I get dizzy with delight at the possibility of learning how to turn it up to a continual, everlasting flow.

five

There is not a river wide

Not a mountain high

And neither sin nor evil

Could change how I feel inside

Could change how I feel inside

Not all the strength of the ocean

Not all the heat from the sun, from the sun

Now, others have tried, I just can't deny

To me you are the one

To me you are the one

The true love is priceless

For true love you pay a price

But there's nothing can keep me from loving you

Not fire no not ice

Not fire no not ice

Like a hero or a champion

You are the best, you're the best

Like religion or superstition

With you I am blessed

With you I am blessed

Now the river may grow wider

The mountain may reach past the sky

And wether or not you feel same

My love shall never die

My love shall never die

The true love you give and take

The true love is sacrifice

But there's nothing can keep me from loving you

Not fire no not ice

Not fire no not ice

{Ben Harper, Not Fire Not Ice}

a word about words

There is no word to describe the power of words. It is amazing how one simple word can invoke feelings, change a mood, or plant a seed. Every human being on the face of the earth, no matter gender, race, nationality, or economic status, has the freedom to use words in whatever capacity they choose. Songs, poems, books, speeches, conversations, emails, blog posts-all made up of single words. Words can ignite fear, be a war cry, bring pain, erode trust, start a genocide. Words can bring hope and light, be the stepping stones to peace and enlightenment, fill up the empty spaces in our souls, make us laugh, start a revolution.

We choose which words are in our minds, on our tongues, in our hearts. We choose which words surround us throughout the day and night. We choose the the words we think in our heads that form the messages we tell ourselves over and over again.

We choose.
+++++++++++++++++++++++

I came up with the list of school/unschool words while reflecting on a modern dance performance I was able to attend a few weeks ago. In one particular number there were two dancers, one with a flowing, beautiful dress and loose hanging hair down her back, the second dancer was dressed plainly in dark colors, her hair was tightly wound up close to her head.

We then heard a woman's voice saying single words. Her voice was soothing and curvy, rolling off her tongue, beauty in every syllable. The words she said felt warm and soothing. Her words sounded inviting and brought a joyful celebrating quality to the room. Like- delectable, papaya, enchantment, and tactile. The dancer moved with an oozing, curvy, fluid quality that matched the words we heard.

The second dancer was quite the opposite. The words spoken while she moved were harsh, pointed, raw. Like- aardvark, scrub, deception, sasquatch. When the dancer moved she had sharp, choppy movements.

As an audience member I had two distinctly different feelings with each dancer. It was quite simply a demonstration on the power of words.

While reflecting on the movement, schoolish (my own word) words started running through my head narrated in that harsh, pointed voice. Feelings of dread and fear engulfed me.

Then I tried out unschooling words narrated in the soothing, fluid voice. I felt peaceful.

How interesting and curious, I thought. I could type out a list of words and that would sum up my reasons for unschooling just by the feelings they brought with them. A reader of my words could experience a little piece of my understanding on life just from a list of words.

How mighty are the power of words! How will we use them? What will we create? What feelings and changes will occur because of our words?

It is all in our hands.
It is all up to us.

word experiment

alarm clock
bell
uniform
book bag
bus stop
homework
hall pass
school lunch
pop quiz
ACT's
college prep
report card
failing
citizenship
popular
cliques
detention
locker combination
bully
maturation program
lice check
last initial
roll call
raise your hand
gold star
blackboard
stand in line
no talking
text book
#2 pencil
follow instructions
locker room
after school program
field trip
permission slip
parent teacher conference
PTA
assembly
sit on your pockets
water faucet
school rules
principal
tired*

hurried*

rushed*

imposition*

criticism*

authority*

coercion*

deadlines*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
sleep in
comfortable clothes
eat when hungry
creativity
choice
community
spontaneous
be loud
run around
hands on
messy
laugh
play
love
freedom
outside
unique
natural
cuddle
initiate
home
empowerment
be yourself
lead
joy
curiosity
abundance*

patience*

privacy*

solitude*

self-education*

nurturing*

trust*

++++++++++++++++++
any words you would like to add?

*thanks julie!

focusing inward

I have been feeling swirly and up in the clouds lately. I have been making some much-needed and long overdue connections and understandings within myself. Understanding a portion of my inner mysteries is exhilarating and freeing, but hard work. I feel that I have been focusing inward with great focus and when coming out of my head and trying to form coherent thoughts on the subject, or any subject for that matter, is like trying to walk through a lake of thick, syrupy caramel. (mmmm caramel....)

I have been reading Eat Pray Love the past week and it is mighty delicious and a perfect book for me to be reading at this minute of my life. Don't you just love synchronicity? I have been blown away by so much of the book and given the chance I would probably retell the whole book here so I urge you to go read it yourself. Here is an excerpt that I read recently that hit me hard:

"Your ego's job isn't to serve you. Its only job is to keep itself in power. And right now, your ego's scared to death cuz it's about to get downsized. You keep up this spiritual path, baby, and that bad boy's days are numbered. Pretty soon your ego will be out of work, and your heart'll be making the decisions. So your ego's fighting for its life, playing with your mind, trying to assert its authority, trying to keep you cornered off in a holding pen away from the rest of the universe. Don't listen to it."

hope

I have considered writing a post in support of my candidate of choice, Barack Obama, for awhile now- but something has stopped me. Not sure what exactly what has stopped me, but I feel strongly about using this space to explore and talk about things that speak to my heart.

Obama is one of those people that speaks directly to my heart.

When there are so many issues to look at and weigh, so much crap to cut through, so much venom and greed and ego involved in campaigning, who really ends up knowing anything besides how they feel about a candidate in their heart? When we look into our heart we will find the leader that rings true. We will find the leader that fills you with hope, and tingles, and tears of joy.

This is how I feel about Obama.

I first saw this video on Boho's blog and I couldn't stop watching it. It is beautiful, powerful, and filled to the brim with hope and the wish for change.

For some reason I am having problems uploading the video so please link to it here.

Please vote.

unintended absence

I have been almost a week of being internet free (thanks to Xavi and a little "accident") and it's been sooo nice and rather productive. It's was amazing how much I could get done without the world wide web always hollerin' out to get on over here and look at something already. I mean, I'm sure you totally relate to the "quick search" for the address of the closest UPS store that turn into 97 minute Flick'r binge??
You don't??
Must just be me then.

Moving on....

So, I'm back. It's feels like it's been forever, and in a way it has. I've had some huge mental shifts that have so freeing and joyful and lovely (with all this internet free time I have to do something...) I have also found a new passion that brings me much giddiness, found another long lost passion that I have been sorely missing, played in the snow, made some delicious scones, been going crazy over yerba mate, bounced and skated like hooligans at our favorite roller rink, went on a super-fun early 5 year anniversary date, and tried a martini for the first time, but not the last time.

It's been a incredible week.
I will have to have more unintended absences more often.
There is really a lot of living to be had out there.