solving problems

please watch.
then act.
this has me happy beyond belief.

hurray!

the radar

the past weekend's chaos didn't ruffle my feathers in any major way. instead of a steep incline on the roller coaster of life it is better to compare it as a blip on the radar. not to toot my own horn or anything, but it takes a lot more than an eviction notice to send me through the roof in a fit of hysterics these days.
i cried only once.
just because.

i did find some cures to weekend blips though;

sweaty, hot hikes with the doggies.

followed up with huge ice waters and fresh raspberry slushies.

long, lazy swings in the hammock.

a little improv dancing to chris singing, i had the time of my life.....

and you can consider yourself cured.

rant much?

i feel like a ketchup packet that has been squeezed dry and left in the road for car after car to run over.

today has been a decompression day after a loooooooong and emotionally difficult weekend. i'm in no mood for particulars, or on second thought maybe that's exactly what i need. a good ol' vent session. lucky you.
perhaps a list??

-the kids have been sick as dogs. first xavi, now soleil. sleeping next to them in bed felt like snuggling up to a radiator. i kept having dreams of the sahara desert. so. hot.

-grandma came and it didn't tun out at all how i was envisioning. i have a problem romanticizing the future and being gravely disappointed when the present isn't so rosy. enough said.

-day two of grandma being here we get served an eviction notice. pay rent now or move out in three days. it came as a total shock as we had kept our landlord up to date on our situation and she led us to believe she would work with us. thanks to very gracious family members we didn't have to pack up and move to god knows where. thank you from the bottom of our very grateful hearts.

-after we were able to pay our landlord her money, much to her dismay, she came to do yard work because in her words, the yard looked just terrible. i did the best i could with a push mower and clippers. i have seriously been out clipping the edges on my hands and knees because she hasn't provided us with an edger. anyway, she pulled out all the flowers and herbs in the front beds because she said they were weeds. crazy woman.

- in order to pay our bills chris took a job as a pizza delivery man. this is a good thing cause he's been rockin' the tips. the bad news is that it's a pizza place that never closes and has no delivery boundaries, so, he gets home when the sun is rising and drives to places 40 miles away multiple times a night. our brakes our sounding so squeaky and i get no sleep when he's not home at night. it felt like the twilight zone.

-this probably doesn't need to be said, but it bugged me nonetheless. i quit my volunteer yoga position cause they were ass hats. i got a nasty email after i let them know a day in advance that i wasn't going to make it to my weekly 3 hour shift because, come on, i had a lot on my plate. it irritated me that one thinks that they can send a mean spirited email and end it by saying namaste and poof! they are some enlightened individual.
kiss my ass.

namaste.

untouched place

my grandma is on the airplane right now making her way to us. we are looking forward to spending a long weekend with her. it's been awhile since she has seen the babes and i know she will want to drink them in like honey.
contrary to what might have been said here in the past, both my kids are oh, so sweet.

i ran across the a poem that i wrote in middle school and was struck at how the issues i raise in my poem are the exact same issues that weigh on my mind and heart some 15 years later.
enjoy...

Untouched Place

All vegetation is plentiful and green.
Plenty of fish swimming in the stream.
Oh, how I wish this wasn't a dream!

There isn't a gaping hole in the sky.
Birds of extinction again start to fly.
No more little children have to die.

Wars and contention between neighbors will stop.
From the clouds only clean rain would drop.
Farmers assured of a plentiful crop.

All starving nations get to be fed.
The homeless and weary find the warmth of a bed.
Injustice and prejudice no longer said.

Education and knowledge no longer denied.
Society no longer based on money and pride.
Our dreams and ambitions we no longer hide.

For every disease is found a cure.
Understanding and love are given much more.
All of our worries we no more must endure.

Would we know how to live in this place?
Could we treat it with love and with grace?
Or again must it be destroyed by the human race?

(un) controlled chaos

oh, lord.

life never goes according to plan, does it? always swirling rapidly above my head and i am always eagerly jumping for it, like a madwoman trying to herd cats . i think that if i can only catch it this once i can contain and control something that at it's very foundation is elusive and mysterious. my hands fail to grasp it and it slips from my fingers.
life plays on, yet always to it's own music.

my daughter never fails to amaze me with her spunk.
yesterday she ran into the living room proudly to show dad what she found outside.
a rat.
no kidding.
freshly dead and hanging by it's tail to the horror of both chris and i.
there was plenty of screaming and flinging of limbs. lots of, what the hell's and oh my gods.
let's not forget to mention the frantic calls to mother dear and the health department (who does nothing.) we scoured the internet to see if we have some sort of rat infestation. we don't. we then scoured our house, cleaning everything. we felt like some mightily filthy, dirty people. the type of people that rats look at and think, well there's a place that i can get plenty of free meals. unfortunately, the rat wasn't there to cook us a meal. that scenario, albeit very odd, would have been highly favored over the one that played out.
i am pretty sure xavier is traumatized for life. wouldn't you be if you saw your parent's acting like a bunch of freaks? he has been talking of rats incessantly and refused to let his feet touch our rodent tainted floor. he could only be carried.
in a laughable attempt to try to get soleil to tell us where exactly she found the infamous rat, we threw our hydrogen peroxide doused hands up.

and life was swirling overhead, always elusive.