list of happies

happiness is:
-a workshop on scarcity to abundance.
-moving into our new home in a week.
-celebrating spring with friends.
-realizing my potential, as well as my breakdowns.
-honest conversations.
-build-your-own frozen yogurt.
-a landmark education forum for my birthday.
-making progress and building respect at work.
-kissing my kids. repeatedly.
-being in love with a wonderful man.

list of loves

in need of a good soul scrubbing i am going to bathe myself in gratitude.
taking a cue from a neato blog i love, i too am going to list my top 100 favorite things, in no particular order.
deep breath.
here goes.

1. red painted metal
2. yerba mate
3. curls
4. the beach
5. snow cones
6. brightly colored skirts
7. ballerinas
8. loud drums
9. rust
10. pictures of feet
11. craigslist
12. dancing
13. date nights
14. holiday lights
15. cookbooks
16. lavender
17. co-ops
18. waterfalls
19. airports
20. vintage
21. wooden spoons
22. holding hands
23. vegan chocolate cake
24. thrift stores
25. bamboo knitting needles
26. yoga class
27. massages
28. inside jokes
29. volkswagon vehicles
30. new packs of markers
31. restaurant reviews
32. beads
33. sweater jackets
34. thai food
35. food processors
36. girl power
37. wine
38. drive ins
39. stars
40. hippies
41. the number 5
42. my birthday
43. eyelashes
44. the library
45. public transportation
46. bare feet
47. clothes shopping
48. ballerina flats
49. almonds
50. fig trees
51. holidays
52. book clubs
53. flannel sheets
54. fireplaces
55. dormer windows
56. toys from the 80's
57. modern furniture
58. old houses
59. walking in the city
60. animal adoption fairs
61. hammocks
62. fireworks
63. very large trees
64. russian sage
65. bakeries
66. margaritas
67. outdoor concerts
68. the smell of coffee
69. electric cars
70. birthday parties
71. reading blogs
72. non profit groups
73. photography
74. cooking
75. NPR
76. midwives
77. trade schools
78. zune player
79. soap
80. good lighting
81. irony
82. controlled chaos
83. belly casts
84. oatmeal
85. menus
86. white noise
87. green building
88. pacman
89. wish lists
90. late nights
91. farmers market
92. parks
93. road trips
94. lemonade
95. graffiti
96. whimsy
97. museums
98. my friends
99. my family
100. you

two things

1. there is currently a cricket living in my bedroom closet. it is like i am sleeping outside when i really am sleeping inside. i am wondering what there is to eat for a cricket in my closet.
maybe i don't want to know.

2. we are leaving for sunny san diego in FIVE sleeps! woohooo! we are all so excited we are gonna pee our pants.

rant much?

i feel like a ketchup packet that has been squeezed dry and left in the road for car after car to run over.

today has been a decompression day after a loooooooong and emotionally difficult weekend. i'm in no mood for particulars, or on second thought maybe that's exactly what i need. a good ol' vent session. lucky you.
perhaps a list??

-the kids have been sick as dogs. first xavi, now soleil. sleeping next to them in bed felt like snuggling up to a radiator. i kept having dreams of the sahara desert. so. hot.

-grandma came and it didn't tun out at all how i was envisioning. i have a problem romanticizing the future and being gravely disappointed when the present isn't so rosy. enough said.

-day two of grandma being here we get served an eviction notice. pay rent now or move out in three days. it came as a total shock as we had kept our landlord up to date on our situation and she led us to believe she would work with us. thanks to very gracious family members we didn't have to pack up and move to god knows where. thank you from the bottom of our very grateful hearts.

-after we were able to pay our landlord her money, much to her dismay, she came to do yard work because in her words, the yard looked just terrible. i did the best i could with a push mower and clippers. i have seriously been out clipping the edges on my hands and knees because she hasn't provided us with an edger. anyway, she pulled out all the flowers and herbs in the front beds because she said they were weeds. crazy woman.

- in order to pay our bills chris took a job as a pizza delivery man. this is a good thing cause he's been rockin' the tips. the bad news is that it's a pizza place that never closes and has no delivery boundaries, so, he gets home when the sun is rising and drives to places 40 miles away multiple times a night. our brakes our sounding so squeaky and i get no sleep when he's not home at night. it felt like the twilight zone.

-this probably doesn't need to be said, but it bugged me nonetheless. i quit my volunteer yoga position cause they were ass hats. i got a nasty email after i let them know a day in advance that i wasn't going to make it to my weekly 3 hour shift because, come on, i had a lot on my plate. it irritated me that one thinks that they can send a mean spirited email and end it by saying namaste and poof! they are some enlightened individual.
kiss my ass.

namaste.

fragments of time away

the haziness of a long weekend traveling and visiting is slowly starting to lift as i settle back in to the mechanics of my usual life. there is also a heaviness of my heart which has me puzzled, and a heaviness of my eyelids which seem drowsier than when the weekend began. a combination of hours upon hours of driving, unfamiliar beds, children throwing up in the middle of the night, and walking a 10k all have left me fighting the urge to curl up in a ball and sleep away the afternoon.

some pieces of the weekend:

-i haven't picked up a book for ages. on a whim as i was headed out the door i picked up the memory keeper's daughter from my bookshelf. it has been a good companion for the stretches of highway linking our house to our destination. i ran across a passage that i felt moved to share,
"...she had been a fiancee, a young wife, and a mother, and she had discovered that these words were far too small to contain the experience."
i read this over and over again, struck with the simplicity of the statement that touches on the thoughts that are wrapped so tightly around my own heart. i also thought it appropriate for a weekend that celebrates the experience of mothers. happy mother's day.

-because we are so tight on money and worried how we would ever get our huge suv over 600 miles on $150, we took the friendly advice of our parents and drove s-l-o-w-l-y. it so worked. we got there on a half a tank of gas and averaged 28-30 mpg in a car that we are usually lucky to get 18. i grinned widely when chris declared "this is my new thing. i'm gonna drive slow everywhere now. why isn't everyone doing this?" why aren't they indeed! i was initially worried about driving 10-15 miles slower than usual with a car full of kids and the repercussions of making a long trip even longer. but, i will tell you it was by far the most enjoyable drive in our history of driving. there is something to be said for taking the slow road, meandering through small towns and enjoying the snapshots of a life lived a little slower. plus, we got there in about the same time it would have taken us driving like speed demons.

-cooking and scheming with my mother in law. there is no one i like sharing the kitchen with more. i just love to talk food with her, make food with her, and eat food with her. and i love her even when there is no food at all. i'm still thinking about our lemon cupcakes topped with lemon buttercream, lemon curd, and blueberry compote. mmmm mmmm.

-catching up with old friends. more to come on one amazing friend in particular........

-waking up early to go walk the mother's day 10k for the fourth year in a row. this year i noticed how yoga has really been changing my strength and endurance. i felt lighter and could breathe deeply for almost the entire time. i loved seeing my kids waiting for me at the finish line and my immediate reaction to start sprinting so i could show off my super mommy skills.

-learning to use my new sewing machine (thanks mom!) and learning some new knitting stitches.

-finally making it home and being enthusiastically greeted by our pups.


i breathe a sigh of relief and think that there really is no place quite like home.

love list

{picture taken by xavier}

my reality has been very on the edge this past week. everything feels urgent, panicked, and rushed. i feel like a stranger in my own body. my thought patterns different then i have ever experienced. it has been difficult to see the silver lining, to find the beautiful. so, how 'bout i attempt a list of funny, fabulous, things that have a way of brightening life on the edges?

-i must be soooo behind the times. i only recently got introduced to flight of the conchords and even though it took much too long, i am relieved that i finally got to witness some seriously witty television. chris and i watched the whole first season in a few days and i'll have to admit there was much laughter to be had.

-another entire season of television was watched this past week, but this time i watched solo. oprah's big give was so inspiring, moving, just a plain happy show to watch. while watching i was wanting to jump out of my chair running down the streets of my neighborhood to see who i could help. you can watch all the episodes too on abc's website. now, give big!!

-music. if you look in the cd player in my car the one and only cd would be local crooners, band of annuals. the harmony, the lyrics, the urge to be in a smoky cowboy bar dancing with my sweetie.
all of it is good. check them out here.

-my friend steph's newly designed site backyard capers. to see her take an idea and just jump in head first is so motivating. i think it'll be such a resource for local parents and kids wanting to find fun things to do in the community. so awesome.

-the on again off again dream of living in an intentional community. no, most are not cults chris. most are just hardworking people trying to be in a community of like-minded folks. who can blame them?

-my birthday is coming! seriously, i love my birthday. i love the day of birthday, and i love pinatas and margaritas and cake. who can blame me?

processing

there are a myriad of topics i would like to discuss, yet i need to think them through a little more before making the inside of my brain public.
in the meantime, here's a bit of what has got me thinking and excited.

shiny blue you
i don't have the skills to get anything i write published, but it's fun to daydream about.

growing naturally
a new webring brought to us by remarkable steph.

a girly tribe
i am totally needing a few days of girlfriends, laughing, creating, snuggling, empowering.
anyone in?

rhubarb
i've never had this fruit before, but since i made the most delicious rhubarb-strawberry crisp last night i am now a rhubarb enthusiast. i will share the recipe later. it's super easy.

the creative family
i am a admirer from afar of the amazingly talented soule mama, and am eager to buy and devour her new book. go girl.

funny stuff
for when one needs to laugh.

thread banger
oh, wow. there is too much to excite a girl here. check it out.
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do tell, what is exciting and inspiring you these days?

the happy list

what's bringing the happies:

sleeping till 9:30 (say what!) and dreaming in vivid color.

we have babies!! hundreds of them. sadly, few make to adulthood, but it is crazy to see all of them swimming around in there. i started getting a little fanatical about the sea monkey info and spent some quality time here.

walking with the little son and the pups this morning.

"fronch" toast for breakfast. yum.

jumping on the tramp playing lava ball and the ultimate super xavi game.

watching soleil play with the same hugs, tugs, and grams carebears that i played with when i was little. she carefully lay them all in a basket and covered them in a blankie, all the while spilling her secrets in a sweet hushed voice.

hearing xavi yell at the dogs next door, go pick on someone your own size!

watching annie. love it, love it. one of my all time favorites when i was young. i swear i know every dance move and every note to every song.

the sun will come out tomorrow!
bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow,
they'll be sun!

get your spring on

hi there. it's been awhile.

here's a few things that i LOVED about this past weekend, just for you.

-this band rocks my world. oh, my how i enjoyed driving solo with the stereo pumping the tunes while playing the mini drums on my steering wheel. i think i will have my people contact their people and find me a spot in the band. surely i could play the maracas or something.

-sunny girl's yellow and white polka dot easter dress. too cute. even cuter when she kept bumping into the fridge cause she was a little dizzy from twirling in her new garb.

- very late night chats about everything.

-seeing a robin and butterfly in my backyard within 5 seconds of eachother. the first of the season.

-pizza that is divine. also divine is watching the punk rockers in the kitchen spinning huge disks of dough over their heads.

-playing full contact yahtzee with the family while laughing my behind off. then, laughing 'till i peed my pants after spraying crumbs all over myself while announcing that, "boys drool." cause they do.

-this video. i watched it four times. so profound. more on this in a later post.

-buds on the trees.

-easter egg hunts at the park with friends.

-having my cheeks ache from smiling so hard while watching xavi wedged between his beloved grandparents as he earnestly told them tale after imaginative tale.

-walking to easter brunch at the neighborhood diner. so yummy.

-talking with a dear friend (thank you) about matters that were weighing me down and feeling lighter after doing so.

-scandalous sea monkeys that are mating after only being alive for six weeks. is that even legal? i totally can't stop staring.

-vegan lemon pudding cake.


-bright pink yoga pants from steve and barry's.


-boing! setting up the tramp. boing!


-it's finally spring and i think that's fantastical. don't you?

bringing the smiles

today i'm loving:

muddy puppy prints on the floor. just another sign that spring is peeking around the corner.

the sunlight shining through the door, kissing my pants as i walk up the stairs.

hearing the little man singing loud and random, oblivious to anyone that may be listening, while working on building a robot with legos.

um, have i mentioned how much i love decadent chocolate cake? i am finding that 3 bites (per hour) is just the right amount. cures the sweet tooth, but doesn't leave a belly ache.

clean hair.

being stretched out in the backyard hammock and reading a most entertaining book.

the "i love you too, mama."

soleil being oh, so sassy.

calls from my brother. while they tend to be few and far between, and he almost always is calling because he needs something, i love them just the same.

that in a few hours we will be entering a long, work-free birthday weekend. the weather is promising temps in the 50's and we are sticking with that.

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here's to happy, warm weekends.

a list of some things about my week

1. I cannot stop eating jellied orange candies (you know the ones that look like orange slices?) Despite the funky aftertaste I get now, possibly from eating too many, I continue to eat them, and eat them, and eat them. They just called out my name at the grocery store and when food calls out to you at the grocery store you have no choice but to listen and obey. Am I right?

2. Color is totally rad this week. I have needed to see bright colors clash and mesh together all over the house. Great fun.

3. I have been catching up with previous episodes of Ugly Betty. It rocks my socks. Hilarious.

4. I have eaten out at least once a day since most of my kitchen is still in boxes and there is practically no food to be found, except of course orange candy which I've been taking full advantage of. Good thing there are so many yum in my tum restaurants, although I am starting to have a major craving for a good home cooked meal. Must go grocery shopping.

5. Soleil has gotten really good at saying "your FIRED!" She and Xavi could go on and on for hours in the backseat of the car yelling, "your fired." "No, your fired." "No, your fired." It is really awesome to hear the seventy sixth time at top volume while trying to make a left hand turn in the snow. It makes me want to fire myself.

6. I'm pretty much just listing stuff from the past day, not the past week cause who really remembers what happened yesterday let alone in the past week. Not I. So, I think I will make my exit and say the end.

Dude, there are orange candies calling...........