life:unscripted

want to drive to san diego, like, right now?

i ask this of chris as we pull in our driveway on friday night. both the kids are snoring in their car seats in the backseat. i am not ready to be home yet. the ocean is calling my name. my idea to just drive away for the weekend sounds simple in my head. of course it does. no need for hotels or planned activities. all we need is the car and the beach.
we drive around the block a few times to talk it over and the details start to crowd out the simplicity.
oh yeah, we have kids. and dogs. and not enough money.
there is an audible pffff as air is slowly leaking out of my bubble of enthusiasm.
i am defeated.

and the weekend continued. and it truly felt liked i stepped into someone else's life for a time. the thought in the back of my head on repeat, is this really my life? the whole time trying to shake myself out of a dream-like zombie state.

10 pm emergency room visits complete with x-rays and dislocated elbows. breast infections. sleepless, stuffy-nosed nights that turn into very grouchy babes which turn into naps until six in the evening that then start the nasty cycle all over again. tantrums with claws. our lawn being sprayed with smelly fertilizer, much to our dismay. the bedroom feeling like hell's bellows when you wake in the middle of the night sweaty and parched. stepping in poo. daylight savings time. blech. i give daylight savings time a big ol' whatevs.

i don't want to paint this monster of a weekend picture though. trickled in with the craziness were little nuggets of fun. like, eating yummy homemade curry at a friends house. falling asleep with hubs on the couch while watching movies. chocolate mole covered burritos with the bro-in-law. walking to the park and running into a dear friend. yoga class. economy sized containers of organic blueberries from costco. frozen yogurt.

and much of my good weekend consisted of eating.

i am cool with it.

so, now it is tuesday and i am starting (very slowly) to get my bearings back. i am beginning to step back into my familiar skin and breathe a sigh of relief. the shoulders are relaxing. the teeth unclenching. the zombie leaving.

later zombie....

and that is the story.

the end.