just talk to me

There has been a reoccurring theme touching my world the past few months. I was going to write about it earlier, and then it passed and I no longer felt the need anymore. Yet it happened again, and now my blood is boiling. I need to get it off my chest. Lucky you.

It happened first to a lovely friend of mine. She gets notice from a neighbor that there are people thinking her kids are a little too free for their tastes, and want her to be warned. She gets to spend the next few days beside herself with worry.

Next, it happens to another equally lovely friend. A watchful neighbor or maybe just a random looky-lou calls the authorities, and in turn they get a parade of officials rudely poking their noses into their lives. They hear a verdict on whether or not they get to stay on their property soon. Lets all hope they do.

So today I peek into my mailbox and staring back at me is a letter from Salt Lake City Corporation. I wonder what this could be? Not good my friends. The letter states that I am in violation for not having a green enough grass, and because we have too many weeds in the back of our garden area. We have 2 weeks to clean up our act or they will initiate "appropriate legal action." They were tipped off by a "concerned" neighbor.

I was fuming. I calmed down enough to call the Officer that sent the letter. When I called I gave her my address and voila! she pulls up pictures of my offensive yard on her computer. Apparently she was out earlier this week taking pictures of my property. Truth be told, she was very nice and understanding. I explained to her that we were killing the grass on purpose with the intent of putting in a water-wise xeriscaped yard. We didn't have the funds right now to do so, it will have to wait until Spring. I further explained that I have 2 young children that don't do so great in an unfenced front yard. Soleil just thinks it's a hoot to go running like a madwoman down the sidewalk. Over and over. I don't get much time to make the yard look pretty. I am usually out at 10pm or later, after the kids are asleep, watering the garden. It's really the only time I have.

She was understanding. She said don't worry about the grass, just pull the weeds. She will have to monitor our yard in the meantime to make sure we are holding up our end of the bargain.

Now, I don't have a problem living up to certain standards in order to be a part of something bigger than myself, as long as those so-called standard make sense to me. Keeping a lawn unnaturally green, or really having a lawn at all, doesn't make sense to me. Don't we live in the desert? Don't we cry drought every year? I want to be a law-abiding citizen, pulling my weight to make sure our city, state, world is a wonderful place to live for all. I do see it necessary to have some "rules" to follow.

My big problem is that these neighbors must run to the authorities and tattletale on someone else rather than having the guts to come talk to me (or my friends) directly. I am a very reasonable person. I would rather not cause someone else discomfort, while still being true to myself and my values. And even if it does go against my values, I am willing to talk to someone that may disagree with me in a respectful, open dialogue.

So you have a problem with my dead grass. Why not just come knock on my door and say "Hi, my name is so and so. I see your grass is getting a little brown. Are you planning on xeriscaping it?" or something to that effect. Why not get to know me? See what my plans are? Offer to help out if you are so distraught about the state of my yard?

But, no. People would rather hide behind their anonymous calls to the authorities. Rather than try to reason with someone, just pull out the big guns. Why would we rather see someone "get in trouble" in favor of having a conversation? Is it to have some sort of power over another? Is it a how dare you have the nerve to do something differently than I see fit. You must pay!!

So, why?? I am troubled by this notion that neighbors think it a better to go behind each others backs in favor of a sense of community. I was talking to someone about this after I was still fresh with rage and was told, "That's just the way people do things."

I don't accept that. Nor, do I want to live in that type of revenge-seeking society. It feels grey and miserable to me.

The other thing that bothers me is that now I feel like I must be looking over my shoulder and watching my back. There is already discontent among neighbors I don't even know. I don't want to feel ashamed of being in my front yard while passing neighbors are shaking their heads in disapproval. I want to live harmoniously amongst my neighbors, freely coming to one another with concerns as well as delights. Am I living in a fantasy? Being too idealistic?

Obviously I am not going to settle this tonight. No, I will just have to get out there and take it out on some dang weeds.

Tell me, what do you think......?