the lawn saga::part two

Alright, every one's fed. Kiddos out back on the tramp with Chris. Well hey, I'm going to steal away to the front yard to get me some work done.

I water the garden, pulling a few weeds under the tomato's. Admire the cute baby watermelons growing. Gear up with my gloves, shovel, and clippers heading over to face-off with the current bane of my existence-the bindweed. (Dun, Dun, Dun) I am just bending over, beginning to yank those babies out when I hear the front door click. Uh,oh. Then a sobbing,shrieking baby the surely rattles the entire neighborhood,

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"

Oh, crap.

Then I get an "Aubs, come on. She needs you."

"Yeah, okay. Just give me a minute."

I stomp over to put away my gloves, shovel, and clippers, with a big pout mind you. Yank out a few weeds I see in the dirt while scowling at the car passing by.

Was it you who had to go running to the authorities, you big tattletale?! I hope you saw what just happened. It's just not easy for me to make my yard pleasant for you. I hope your happy. So there.

And I stick out my tongue, just for good measure.

So I decided that I am just going to have to make a really big, ugly sign (much uglier than my yard) to show whoever the whiner in the neighborhood is that's it not so easy for me to pull my weeds. It will read:

MIND YER OWN BEESWAX!!

Or maybe:

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T LOOK!!

Or perhaps:

I AM A GOOD CITIZEN.

I AM A GOOD MOTHER.

I'M NOT SUCH A GOOD GARDENER.

SO SUE ME!

(Really don't. I could just pay in weeds.)